…When you turn 25 and still don’t know what you want with life.
It’s the 25th anniversary of my birth next week. I have no idea what I’m doing with myself, as I’m sure many of us are struggling with. Here are some ways to stay classy on your 25th birthday while still trying to figure your shit out.
1. Do realize that you will question your life plans on your birthday. This isn’t uncommon. We’re forced to think that we need to decide right out of high school what we want to do with the rest of our lives. I think this is ridiculous. It might take someone a lot longer to decide what they want, but that’s the beauty of it. Not to say that it’s wrong if you really do want to do one thing for the rest of your life, but it causes too much stress if that’s not what you want.
2. Don’t think that the decisions you make are final. If you decide to do one thing and it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world. Choose to do something that feels right at the moment. I once met a man who had a dozen different careers in his life. People change and so will your wants and needs. NOTHING IS PERMANENT. Except for tattoos. You’re pretty much stuck with those. Sorry.
3. Do know that there are tons of people who are still looking for jobs, still trying to find what kind of job they want, where they want to find themselves in the next few years, and still just have no idea what they want to make of their one precious life. If it helps at all, I am one of those of people AND it’s my 25th birthday. Life’s tough, man.
4. Do realize that birthdays often suck. I don’t know if this is much of a tip, but it is an observation… The older you get the lamer birthdays get. It’s inevitable that I will be a grumpy old woman in the next few years. So sue me.
5. Do hold your own against people who intend to get you blackout drunk on your birthday. Letting people pour booze down your throat and liquoring you up just because it’s your birthday is never fun. Know that this is the goal of many of your friends on your birthday. I’ve had too many of these, and I can say that it’s probably the worst way to spend your birthday. Hugging a toilet bowl in a dirty old jazz bar on Granville blows. Well, to some it’s fun… and that’s totally cool too.
6. Do aim low. Big birthday plans rarely pan out. Making huge plans for your birthday for a night on the town almost never work out the way you plan them to. People are flakey (fair enough, most of us are), it’s bloody expensive, there’s always drama, and some idiot always cries (usually the birthday person). If you MUST plan something big, aim low and expect it to be shite. I am the ever optimist.
7. Do spend your birthday with people who appreciate you. Nothing’s worse than having to socialize with people you don’t care for especially on the one day of the year that’s devoted to you. Well…I’m sure there are worse things, but you get the point.
8. Don’t do nothing on your birthday. It might seem easier than having to plan something, and you may think that that’s what you want, but you’ll only end up upset and depressed that you gave into your passive aggressive tendencies and chose to be alone. You WILL cry. I guarantee it. And you’ll feel like an idiot for choosing the worst birthday option EVER.
So, I leave you with some ideas for your 25th birthday that don’t involve getting drunk at a club, blacking out, crying, and being hungover (well, maybe a little hungover).
.go to a movie
.look for a job if you don’t have one and send out resumes
.go to a show
.troll around on Facebook and see how many people haven’t changed since high school
.watch an episode of Jersey Shore
.read the news (if that doesn’t put your life into perspective I don’t know what will)
.Google “worst birthday cakes ever”
.watch episodes of Epic Mealtime
.listen to old burnt cds you made at a time when life was simple and life was good
.get a free ice cream from Dairy Queen (Milk your birthday for all it’s worth and get free shit. Pun intended… the milk part.)
.guilt all your friends who didn’t get you a present to buy you breakfast, lunch, AND dinner. Free food!!
.forget all about your birthday or pretend that you did, then you won’t have to deal with it. If you can’t see it it it’s not there, right?
.disregard all of my suggestions and plan some huge birthday that you probably won’t remember anyway.
Stay classy and happy birthday.