The Sun of a Beach Review 3

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Jericho Beach- Is that me?
Po-Po Patrol- Civil servants more like it

Walking down to Jericho Beach, you start to get a feeling that you’re not in kansas anymore. Holding an open Pilly in my pocket as I passed the Yacht club, I almost got ran over by a silver BMW Z4. The tennis club next door is full of socialite bitches all dressed in white, tweeting on their blackberries. The East Van in me was trying pretty hard not to yell out “OI! CUNT!”. Skeptical as ever I wandered on down and found the log where some friends where relaxing. There was plenty of space on a monday evening and most of the logs around us were unoccupied. The sand was clean, the water was warm, as perfect as the neighbourhood pays for it to be. I’m a tough sell, however, and nothing was going to convince me that this beach was more than another under appreciated luxury that the people of Kitsilano like to brag about. When i was considering packing up my beers and heading back to Crab Park, it began. A sunset that rivaled the dramatic twilight seen at Wreck Beach. The oranges and reds contrasting with the blues, pinks and purples reflecting upon the water instils an image that i will testify is better than any 3D movie. Geese flocking in and having cold turf wars made us all hush up and watch in anticipation. The panoramic span from one end to the other is spectacular, with the sunset on your left, sparkling north van infront of you, and downtown tempting you on the right.
Alright Jericho, You win. As much as I enjoy being an east van scuzzer for the time being, maybe one day i’ll be a greedy bastard too and make a ton of money so i can drive my BMW to the tennis club, text a little, and then go to your fine beach and watch the night fall. Until then, i’ll be catching the 99 B-line all the way back to the Drive.

Enjoy the sunset by clicking the link. (more…)

Posted by libertinah at 3:05pm on Wednesday, August 11, 2010

The Sun of a Beach Review 2

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Wreck Beach- No tan lines, No rules
Po-Po Patrol- Easily avoided

BC Days sounded like a celebration to me until I found out it meant all the BCL’s were closed. We discovered this after travelling all the way down to UBC. As we walked with heavy hearts to the never ending staircase that leads you to Wreck Beach, we almost forgot about the cirque de soleil that was waiting for us at the bottom. One word: Dicksdicksdickstitstitstits. Surrounding us was a naked hippy grandfather gently playing Trucks with his naked grandson and a gamer couple who looked like they were spending their first day outdoors in years. Ahhh, the land of lost judgement. Nearly every ten minutes we were offered magical treats and intoxicating beverages from the local vendors, making our BCL nightmare obsolete. And yes, i went nude (for a portion of the time). Try prancing through the light, tickling waves in nothing but your skinny and you will not see any reason to visit another beach for the rest of the summer. The regulars are nothing short of angelic as well, giving us free beer, water, ice cream and treats while we lied sans shirts in the sun. Their howl spreads down the beach like a wave in order to alert others of the Po. Even the naked grandpa took a moment to play us an eerie tune on his clarinet, which is an image that will forever haunt Mike Steel. Every night is topped off with a spectacular sunset and a herd of locals dancing and cheering and spreading Peace and Love, man. It’s an experience you can wrap up in a cozy blanket and put in your happy thoughts for later.

I HIGHLY recommend you make the trip down to wreck this summer if you’re looking for relaxation and voyeurism. If you’re looking for dirty water and crowds of people with sticks up their asses, then please avoid this beach. But one piece of advice before you go; Remember, never follow a hippy to a second location.

Enjoy the sunset by clicking the link (more…)

Posted by libertinah at 4:06pm on Thursday, August 5, 2010

(500) Days Of Weezy?! Lil Wayne Meets Joseph Gordon-Levitt??

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Posted by twotonesoul at 11:34am on Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Pigeon Pans KOL Performance in St. Louis

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You may have heard that carefully coiffed indie rockers turned international superstars Kings of Leon cut their set short after getting shat on by a couple of incontinent pigeons at a St. Louis show last Friday (23rd of July). Well… thefuturists.ca bring you the story behind the story.

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 6:50pm on Monday, July 26, 2010

The Sun of a Beach Review

English-Bay

English Bay- Fuck you, you have too many people.
Po-po patrol- Extreme

What’s worse than meeting someone super attractive and charming only to find out that they’ve slept with the entire town? Well, plenty i’m sure, but it’s still enough for you to flip them the bird and continue your search to find someone better. Are you following my metaphor for English Bay?

Third

Third Beach- Ew, what are we doing?
Po-po Patrol- Frequent

All my friends are texting me “Hey, come to Third!”, so we hop up in the witches truck only to find ourselves at the Beach Clurb. Everybody but us has shown up on their new fixie with $650 sunglasses on and the purpose of being seen to be scene. West. Van. Hipsters. There I said it. Party pictures at the beach. I’m embarassed…and i’m going to be back in that corner of the beach way too many times this summer.

Sunset

Sunset Beach- Garbage Water
Po-po Patrol- Minimal

So after trying to find parking for the Beach Clurb for twenty five minutes, we give up and head down to Sunset. So content to be out of a car and at the beach, we all drop our bags and book it to the ocean. Eeeeeeuck. I swear im not lying when i say we found two headless bodies covered in shit. That water is dank.

So far none of the beaches are quite what i’m looking for. I’ll be hitting up Wreck and Spanish Banks this week in order to find both you and I a beach that is spacious and modest with crystal clear waters. I will not stop beaching until i find it.

Posted by libertinah at 9:26am on Monday, July 12, 2010

TweetWall Pro

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Considering the ratio of Twitter users in North America compared to Europe, it’s strange that I’d never heard the term “Twitter Wall” before crossing over to the old continent. Now that I know what it is, I can’t help but try and share this cool little product with you… my faithful readers. I don’t usually pimp products on here, being more disposed to ranting and raving about the squalls blowing through my tired head, but this one I found so interesting and applicable to Vancouver’s nightlife and events, that I couldn’t resist. Add to that the fact that I’ve been working for a little web-startup in Belgium that is in the final stages of developing their own multi-faceted Twitter Wall — TweetWall Pro — and we’ve got ourselves a full blown tech-geek post!

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 6:25am on Sunday, May 16, 2010

DJ your own Summer Party!

have you ever wanted to DJ your own party and thought it would be too hard, cause you don’t have the gear? cause it would confuse you to keep looking at the spinning circle on your laptop?

Well you can DJ!

LINK

click this link and experiment_ it’s wicked sweet i promise_ I’m making this post short cause i have to go change the next video that’ll play (you’ll know what im talking about when you click the link)

two youtube videos and motherfucking crossfader dot com

Posted by Tron at 3:42pm on Thursday, May 6, 2010

Bad Poetry

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The last few days have been wild. A shocking railway exit from England led to a feverish night spent wandering the dark streets of Paris, searching for a safe place to sleep outdoors. You don’t really sleep on the street. You simply close your eyes and listen for footsteps, or voices. I heard some unfriendly ones and moved on, finally finding shelter in the basement of the Tunisian dorm at the Universitie de Paris, thanks to some kind soul willing to look past the desperation and whiskey stink of me. Morning was rough in the city of lovers. Rougher than I care to describe. Walking like a man defeated, the passers-by thought me untouchable, or psychotic probably, as I stared out at them with the eyes of one who’d risen from the grave and hadn’t bothered to wipe the grime of it from his face. Then a ticket to Belgium, a warm train, the anticipation of food and some friendly faces. Here I am now. I don’t feel ready to properly approach the story of these last few days, so I’ll leave you with some [unedited] scribblings from my notebook, which might more honestly (if cryptically) represent my experiences.

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 2:30pm on Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Cleaning Lady

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I woke up late. I woke up a few times during the night, once to shit, another time to drink. I woke up early with Carmen. She had to go to work. I didn’t. When she left she kissed me once and closed the door behind her. I slept some more. I woke. I looked at the clock. Carmen came back in. We kissed some more. She was wearing different clothes. Day clothes. Clothes to take to work. She always dresses in black. When she left (this time for good) I said, “Good-bye dark lady.”

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 10:18am on Thursday, April 29, 2010

Gunslingrrr in Europe III

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Over the last few days I’ve come up with many different excuses on why I shouldn’t write this update — right here, right now — and even now I’m not entirely sure it’s the right time, but hell… why the fuck not. In one palm: there is sickness, this foreign keyboard that slows my fingers and inhibits the natural tempo of my mind, arguments between the founding fathers and I, and a complete disbelief in my ability to accurately recount the history of this last week and a half. In the other palm: the pure need to express what is in my heart and what weighs so heavy now on my feverish mind. Let’s begin as we should, at the beginning.

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 11:42am on Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Gunslingrrr in Europe II

jurek

Boy am I ever tired of your store-bought platitudes. Woman. You speak to me as if I were a child, wandering and fruitless and willing to give everything away for one suck of the lollipop. Enough. My head is squeezed and pressed to mush and my mouth is bleeding. This brain thrums like a rotting tooth and still I ask for more. Oh god. I stayed up too late last night. Waiting. Listening. Ears a quiver, whiskers jumping and twitching. I think I’ll pour myself another drink. I shouldn’t. But I will regardless.

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 11:55am on Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Gunslingrrr in Europe

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And now that I’m here, I’ve got the distinct feeling that I’m never coming back. Or at least… if I do, it won’t be for good. Originally, my return ticket was booked for the end of April. That was no good. Three weeks gallivanting around this wonderful continent is not nearly enough, especially when one of those weeks is spent making long-overdue house-calls to family members who have barely seen my face since I was born.

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 10:05am on Saturday, April 3, 2010

The Valuables at The Rickshaw

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In certain circles (okay in most circles), when you mention Ska music, you’re apt to be greeted by a lot of blank stares and some shaking heads. It seems that the genre is something most people pass through, and leave behind, at an early age. Well The Valuables ain’t Ska at all. Okay maybe that’s a lie. But when you hear them describe their band, their genesis, their sound…the imagery evoked is that of a phoenix, born from ashes to rise from the crackling waste of Ska influences to become so much more.

Words by Gun

Fotos by Hart

More after the jump

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 5:41pm on Saturday, March 27, 2010

The Wonders Of Spring

stay tasty kids

So spring has sprung, and love is in the air. At least I think that’s love. It could very well be pollen. I have a terrible time distinguishing between the two, since they both seem to make my nose run and my eyes water. Where does that saying come from anyways? “Love is in the air”. What a steaming pile of cow-pie. The only place I’ve ever seen love is in the dictionary, somewhere between listless and loathsome (okay, maybe somewhere behind listless and loathsome if you’re picking nits). Alright… irrespective of all that, spring HAS sprung. And so have I. That is to say, I’ve sprung a leak somewhere in the back of my head, and my mind is leaking out like water from a tiny, hissing hole in a garden hose.

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 8:59pm on Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Leather Playlist III: Burn-Out Edition

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Sure.Why not. I’ll try my hand at writing an entire post while I’m baked. What’s the harm? It won’t be a real post anyway. We’ll call this The Leather Playlist III: Burn Out Edition. And go from there.

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 10:42pm on Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Leather Playlist II

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Here I am sitting on the ferry with my laptop open, bored as all fuck. Lately I’ve taken to trying to get some writing done during my commute, rather than simply pigging out at the Coastal Buffet. (side note: buffets are totally my undoing, I simply can’t control myself when I’m at one, and tend to eat until I feel sick to bursting). It’s turned out to be pretty fruitful, and most of the pieces I’ve published lately have been written as I cruise the waters between Vancouver and Victoria. So here I am, giving it another crack… and all at once… I feel like… The. Words. Just. Won’t. Come.

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 7:08pm on Saturday, March 20, 2010

5 Tips to Lying Through Your Teeth

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We all do it, but few of us will admit to doing it unless we’re caught. There are many ways it can be done. There are small lies, big lies, white lies and tall tales. There are those we give quietly and those again that we shout and proclaim with great fervor. We lie to ourselves, we lie to those close to us, and we even lie to strangers.  But why do we do it? What compels otherwise trustworthy, honest individuals to bend and break the truth with impunity?

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 7:35pm on Wednesday, March 3, 2010

code organ

This is the coolest thing ever!

If you have a website or a blog or anything webrelated_ have you ever wondered what it would sound like?

well now you can!_ with this super radical code organ you can make your websites code turn into sound!

this is what the futurists website sounds like!

theFuturists on Code Organ (click here)

Code Organ

what does your website sound like?

share your sound with us on twitter!

@thefuturists

Posted by Tron at 2:53am on Sunday, February 21, 2010

5 Tips for Dating an Actor

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The dating game can be hard; I mean we’re all so very different aren’t we? No matter how many relationships you’ve had in the past, you’re never prepared for what comes next. Most of all, a successful relationship requires a lot of work from both sides, and any imbalance (perceived or deliberate) can mean an end to the fun before you’ve even gotten started.

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 6:33pm on Thursday, February 18, 2010

Just Friends

just friends

Here is some crappy story I wrote three or four years ago for a creative writing workshop, which I found on my computer recently. The class was focused on non-fiction, so it’s really more of a personal narrative than anything else. It’s pretty dumb, and won’t make sense to anyone, but I’m quite bored and it’s about time I posted something on here. So here it is, completely unedited. Enjoy, or don’t.. I’m quite sure I don’t mind either way.

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Posted by gunslingrrr at 5:21pm on Wednesday, February 17, 2010