The dating game can be hard; I mean we’re all so very different aren’t we? No matter how many relationships you’ve had in the past, you’re never prepared for what comes next. Most of all, a successful relationship requires a lot of work from both sides, and any imbalance (perceived or deliberate) can mean an end to the fun before you’ve even gotten started.
I’m sure you’ve all heard the term “opposites attract”. Though I wouldn’t go so far as to call this a concrete scientific fact, I would venture to say that it is, at least, a truism. We… as emotional, sexual, social beings, seem to be pulled towards the sort of partner who will challenge us and take us out of our comfort zone. Of course this isn’t always the case, and ideally, most of us are searching for someone who shares some of our interests and passions. It is tough to build a relationship without finding some sort of common ground on which to lay the foundation.
So with this in mind, I’ve put together a short list of tips to help you, my faithful readers, make your way through a relationship with a certain type of individual: The Actor. Now before you go questioning my qualifications to impart any sort of wisdom on this esoteric topic, I must tell you that I have had a bit of experience with this fickle creature, which I will now draw from to create this list of helpful hints. Also, please note that my use of the word “actor” refers to both the male and female practitioners of this artful trade; though my firsthand experience is gleaned solely from the latter, finer sex. Despite the fact that I’ve never dated any male actors, I’ve attempted to make this list as widely applicable as possible to both sexes, though a small prejudice towards one may bare out in the writing.
So here it is, without further ado… 5 tips for dating an actor.
Although this one is a good quality to bring to any relationship, it applies even more strongly when dating an actor. You see, the actor is a very self-conscious animal. How could they not be, when their chosen profession virtually guarantee’s they be subjected to an inordinate amount of criticism and rejection. So when they come home to you, don’t be surprised if the actor is looking for a little support or reassurance. Give it to them, and lay it on thick. It doesn’t hurt to help them run lines for their next audition either. I promise, the positive energy you send their way will be returned a hundred fold. (i.e) Hopefully they hire you on as a pool boy/girl once they hit it big.
Treat It Like A Real Job
Believe me when I say that there is nothing an actor hates more than having their life’s dream dismissed as some kind of hobby or passing fancy. If you ever find yourself enamored of a thespian, remember, these people take their craft very, very seriously and dislike any hints that what they’re doing may not pan out into what (most of us) would call a real career. Acting requires a ton of dedication, and in order to dedicate yourself to something so fiercely, you have to believe that the dream will someday come true. Having someone around who disparages those lofty ambitions only serves to depress the actor. And a depressed actor does not a good bed-fellow make.
Okay. This one is a little on the selfish side, but it’s simply too important to leave off the list. So you find yourself dating an actor. Everything is going great, in fact the two of you are happy as clams, and the world is all butterflies and rainbows. Now it’s time to turn down the cute factor and turn up the kinkyness. Have you ever wanted to play dress up in the bedroom and explore some of your more closely guarded fantasies? Well now is your chance! Who better than an actor to help you play out that naughty nurse or sexy babysitter scenario you’ve kept hidden from your other relationships. Don’t be shy. The actor will jump at the opportunity to indulge your whims since it serves as a chance for them to hone their craft as well. In addition to their willingness to participate, the actor will dive so deeply into the role-play that you might just get more than you bargained for. Come next morning you may find that last night’s sexy librarian has gone method, and is demanding you return those overdue library books… or else.
Don’t Give In
When you’re in a relationship with an actor, it is my experience that they will try their darndest to lure you over to their craft. DON’T DO IT! One has only to look as far as Hollywood to see that love-affairs between actors simply do not work. Chalk it up to ego, schedules, or pure boredom with each other, relationships between actors seem to be doomed before they start. If you do decide to join the theatrical ranks, there really is no way the situation will end favorably. Either you suck really bad and your other half loses interest completely after watching you butcher a monologue in front of their acting class, or you somehow discover you have a god-given skill for such things and your other half becomes insanely jealous of your effortless success.
Don’t Bring The Camera Into The Bedroom
As titillating as it may be to reminisce about last night’s sexual escapades while watching them in wide-screen high definition, this one is a total deal-breaker when dating an actor. Of course it takes a lot of balls (or umm, ovaries) to consider producing a “home-movie” with yourself and your partner as the main characters. But when your partner is an actor, balls and ovaries aren’t the only thing in question. There are other concerns. Very real concerns. Consider the popularity of “celebrity” sex-tapes these days. Ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends surreptitiously releasing private footage taken with loving consent, in order to make a quick buck. The reality of it is, the worst that can happen to us regular people if some of that private footage finds it’s way out is a little bit of embarrassment. Nothing that can’t be quickly forgotten or laughed off. For an actor the danger is further reaching. In their mind’s, any home-movie is a potential career killing bomb. Doesn’t matter if they’re not exactly house-hold names at the moment. One day, when the actor has reached their full potential, a video of them taking a cock up the ass is the last thing they want floating around on some ex’s hard drive. And don’t even attempt to argue the virtues of such tapes for resurrecting floundering celebrities. That sort of thing will fall on deaf ears and earn you a one way ticket to the doghouse.
If you are dating an actor, have in the past, or just think you might give it a shot one day, I hope these tips have been useful. If not, I might come out with some tips for dating a musician. Of course it depends on if I garner some pertinent life experience first. Until then… stay tasty my friends.