A veritable futurists favorite, you can find Helen’s Grill on the south-east corner of Main st. and King Edward ave. If you’ve never been there, you’re missing out on one of Vancouver’s greasiest spoons. A retro diner time-warp experience complete with table-side jukeboxes and framed newsprint cut-outs, Helen’s offers up the usual fare when it comes to food, but an intangible quality sets it apart from other notable east-side eateries.
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A lot of people don’t get it. They wonder what all the fuss is about. And, at first, I felt the same way. You see, before I moved into theFUTURISTS HQ, I was renting a sardine-can room off Main, just a juice-hop away from Helen’s. Naturally, it became my personal mission to patronize each and every restaurant within walking distance of my apartment, and over the course of a year I acquitted myself rather well. But for some reason, Helen’s just kept bringing me back. It became the place where I took care of my Sunday morning hangovers, chewing lazily on some comfort food with a book or a newspaper for company, the glowing tones of some soul song tickling awake my boozy ears.
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Still, my love affair with Helen’s began inauspiciously. To put it bluntly I came, I ate, and I left vaguely dissatisfied. But then, the following weekend, there I was again, saddled down on an ancient stool with a jug of hot tea steaming under my nose and the smell of bacon churning my stomach into a frenzied state of excitement. Something about the place had me hooked. But what was it?
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The food at Helen’s can hardly be described as gourmet. You won’t find any smoked salmon or artichokes on their menu. What you will find is a simple array of comfortable dishes ranging from breakfast favorites to old world dinner plates prepared and served with a gentle eye and casual flourish. Nothing about the food is shocking. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. The menu seems designed for routine and ritual. And that’s fine with me. When you sit down at Helen’s, you know exactly what you’re getting, no surprises. Now, to some, that might sound like a condemnation but to me it’s more like a commendation. After a night of alcohol and drug fueled revelry, I love that I can count on Helen’s to pull through with a bellyful of curative, edible comfort.
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One of the most common criticisms I hear of Helen’s is this: “Yea… it’s cool, but the service blows!” Suffice it to say that I disagree vehemently with such a statement. The service does not “blow”. The service is simply indifferent, sarcastic, and above all, wonderfully charming. It’s staff (led by the indomitable Valerie Iverson) work at their own pace and do not suffer fools. This isn’t to say that they’re slow or hostile, rather, it’s symptomatic of an establishment that dictates the ambiance rather than letting the teeming masses who pour through the doors call the shots. Service with a smile isn’t the motto here, and the smiles, when you get them, certainly aren’t free. You have to earn them. Prolonged association with Helen’s pays dividends. I’ve never been greeted as warmly by a serving staff as I am when I trudge through the door there, and after a couple of visits, uncommonly reliable Valerie had my favorites stamped into her memory as if she’d been taking my orders for years.
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So, the next time you find yourself sharing a hang-over with your buddies, reminiscing and pouring over last night’s exploits, give Helen’s Grill a try. It’s a wonderful place to slink away to and lick your wounds, while stuffing your face with eggies and hash-browns. And when you get there, tell Valerie I say what up.
theFUTURISTS.ca gives Helen’s Grill an enthusiastic two thumbs up.
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FUTURISTS MENU FAVORITES
Swashbuckle — Two eggs, runny, with hash-browns and bacon, coffee, water.
Hartbraker — Chicken soup, grilled cheese with bacon, fries, coffee, water.
Gunslingrrr — Club Sandwich, no tomato, green salad, italian dressing on the side, tea, whiskey.
Gunslingrrr
The jukeboxes never work and the food is expensive for the crap quality. My first experience there was great and we told people about it, needless to say they were not impressed either.
Helen’s should never die. I work in the restaurant biz….at a place literally nothing like Helen’s. But there is a time and a place for Helen’s and as stated above…it’s often Sunday. Great Place and for those that don’t get it, feel free to not take up my favorite corner booth.
nearly a quarter of a century on the planet and Jurek still hates tomatoes.