If you have lived in Vancouver for any substantial amount of time you know that this fine city of ours has but two seasons: Summer and Rainy. It’s also saddled with the altogether terrible moniker of being “The most beautiful place on earth”. Don’t believe me? Take a look at the license plates of the cars parked on your street and you’ll see this gaudy epithet smirking at you from underneath a picturesque horizon. Vancouver has always struggled to define itself between the dreamlike quality of its’ beautiful landscape and the wet reality that makes all that lush foliage possible. So this one isn’t for all you true Vancouverites who stoically accept the formidable deluge of rain that welcomes us at this time of year, but rather, for those who are new to our city, and wondering what happened to the sun; here you’ll find some tips to surviving the rainy season.
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1) Buy an Umbrella
This one takes the first spot on the list simply because it is quite probably the most important thing you can do to prepare for the wet weather. Most people own an umbrella (or two) already, as a matter of course, but if you don’t, now would be a perfect time to go and pick one up. I suggest heading to your nearest golf supply store and buying a giant golf umbrella. With one of these domed monstrosities you can shelter yourself and up to three of your best buddies, and when the downpour slows you can fold it up to create a very serviceable walking stick.
2) Buy a winter-jacket
Your jacket doesn’t have to be water-proof, I swear by a heavy black overcoat when winter rolls around, but it should be water-resistant at least. Of course this depends on how much protection you need. If you envision yourself spending a lot of time outside in the rain, a water-proof shell might be the way to go, but if you’re like me, and spend most of your time making short hops from car to doorway you’ll be fine with some kind of thick overcoat.
3) Protect your Feet
Innumerable times, I’ve found myself at the tail end of summer with a foyer full of sneakers which I imagined would see me all the way through to spring. This is a mistake. The rainy season in Vancouver calls for something heftier than a pair of ragged converse. I know they look snappy under a pair of skinny jeans but believe me, so does a rugged pair of boots, if not more so. So open up that wallet and spring for something with tall ankles, heavy soles, and some warm lining. Your dry soles and toasty toes will be thanking you all winter long.
4) Layers
All this talk of preparation and clothing might seem a bit alarmist, but I assure you, t’is better to be prepared than cold. And in that same vein, I’m sure t’is better to be prepared and stylish than simply to be prepared. For this reason I encourage all you sexy people to throw on those layers. Keep in mind that while travelling from point A to point B you want to stay dry, but once you reach your destination, won’t it be nice to strip off those outer layers to reveal a stunning look underneath? Like a caterpillar shedding it’s plain husk to reveal the colourful markings of it’s wings you will shrug off your winter wear to reveal layer upon layer of good taste.
5) Stock the liquor cabinet
I can’t adequately stress the importance of this tip to you, my faithful readers. Can you imagine a dreary day, dark from morning till night, a day when you’ve worked diligently at school or at the work-place. Finally your toil is ended and you head home, only to realize that the bar is bare. You kick yourself and wonder if you’ve got the energy to head back out into that heady tempest to procure a pint or two of this or that soothing mind syrup. This quandary could be avoided by the smallest bit of forethought; when buying your allotment of booze for the weekend, why not stretch your budget to include the following week, where, you might like to enjoy a nip of your preferred poison without the added misery of having to procure it on short notice. I suggest employing the one bottle system; once you notice that you’re down to the last bottle, or six-pack… it’s time to stock up.
6) Stock the drug cupboard
Believe it or not, drug-dealers are people too, and as such, despise being cold and wet as much as the rest of us. So don’t wait till you’re scraping the bottom of your baggies, instead, call ahead, and buy in bulk. Whatever your pleasure may be (myself, I suscribe to the softer, greener end of the contraband spectrum) ensure that you’re well supplied. Because that guy, the can’t miss, never-fail, “I’ll be there in 15 mins” dude that you relied on all Summer, well, he might not be so anxious to move for a couple of dime bags when he sees the West Coast version of Niagara Falls outside his window.
7) Take up a hobby
Just do something with your-self. When the rainy season rolls around, it’s sublimely easy to fall into a static routine molded around a school or work schedule. You get up in the morning and it’s dark. You come home and it’s dark. Surrounded by all this grey washed out sky, it’s natural to crave a bit of escapism. Just don’t plop yourself in front of the television or computer as soon as you have some free time, this leads to madness and a terrible feeling of days blending endlessly into one another. Why not try something you’ve been meaning to do for a while but just couldn’t find the time for. Vancouver’s rainy season gives you ample opportunity to learn an instrument, or teach yourself a foreign language, even to take up knitting or painting. It will help pass the days, and combat that winter despair with a bit of self-started joy. I promise, you’ll feel better for it.
8) Outdoor Activities
This tip is sort of an addendum to the former. The rainy season can seem long and never-ending. Even more-so if you stay indoors waiting patiently for it to pass, as if a polite indifference to the weather could cause it to disappear completely. This is not the case. The rain is here to stay, at least until early summer, so don’t try to ignore it. Instead, embrace it. Why not organize a game of mud soccer? Or soaking wet capture-the-flag? How about going for a quick skinny-dip with your friends under the pitter-patter of a weeping sky? I’m not saying that you should be out there daily, suffering sadistically under foreboding cloud cover, but, occasionally, you’ve got to let those floating ambassadors of the sky know that you’re not scared of a little rain. (Unless of course they’re thunderclouds, those bastards are startling.)
9) Take a Vacation
When the going gets tough, the tough get going… off to warmer climes that is. Yea, the rainy season is long and arduous, so why not take a break sometime during December or January? A little rest and recreation can do wonders if you can get it. So head to you nearest travel agent and hunt down some deals. You could be sipping fruity drinks on a clothing optional beach somewhere in South America in no time. Just don’t flaunt your tan too much when you get home.
10) Couple Up
I saved this one for last because it’s supremely important to surviving the rainy season and also because it’s the most difficult to put in practice. There are many reasons men and women have been pairing off over the course of history (not the least of which being the magic act of procreation), but for our purposes we’ll deal specifically with men and women in this great city of ours, Vancouver. I’ve come to realize, that the rainy season is infinitely more palatable when you have someone beautiful to share your misery with. Someone who will dry you off when you step dripping wet through the door, someone who will nurse you through the inevitable winter sickness that strikes us all, someone who will keep the bed warm while you’re away. It’s not completely necessary (there is a lone ranger within us all) but it doesn’t hurt either. At the very least, you should make sure you’re on good terms with your booty calls, just in case you need a sexual pick-me-up during a marathon storm. I must admit, I feel quite duplicitous for sharing this tip, since it’s something I haven’t quite mastered yet… but you know what they say, those who can’t do… teach.
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So that’s it. Ten tips to surviving the rainy season in Vancouver. Keep them in mind, and remember, chin up! Time flies and summer isn’t that far away, really. Until then… stay tasty cool kids. Oh, and if you have any helpful hints that I happened to miss, please feel free to post them in the comments section.
Gunslingrrr
My rainy day fix- lie in bed with my laptop and read gunslingrrr’s reviews on life.